Last night, I gently cried myself to sleep knowing I had to write this blog post.
My heart aches because it is time to let go of a business I’ve worked so hard on.
Over the past few years, I have had the privilege of collaborating with some of the most inspiring clients and print studios in the textile and fashion industry. It has been an enriching journey, and I am deeply grateful for the opportunities and experiences we have shared.
But here’s the truth. I’m burnt out.
Seeing a therapist for anxiety has not helped.
Going on holidays for a few weeks at a time has not been able to relieve me of the feelings I’ve been having either.
I don't want to stay in fashion forever.
After much reflection, I have decided to take an indefinite break from my work in the textiles and fashion industry to focus on my mental health and well-being. The demands of the industry have taken a toll on me, and I believe it is essential to address burnout and realign my work with my personal values.
While completing all remaining projects, I will not accept any new client work. This decision was difficult, but I know it is crucial for my growth and well-being. I am deeply grateful for the support and collaboration we have shared over the years.
It’s been bubbling under the surface for a while, and I’d love to share the “why” behind this shift - not just for me, but for the planet, too.
A Growing Awareness of Fast Fashion’s Impact
As much as I’ve loved creating prints for the fashion world, there’s a hard truth I can’t ignore: fast fashion is one of the biggest polluters on the planet.
The environmental cost of overproduction, synthetic fabrics, and disposable trends has been weighing heavily on my mind recently. When I worked in fashion, I saw firsthand how quickly designs are created, consumed, and discarded.
While I’ve always tried to bring beauty into the world through my work, I started questioning whether I was truly contributing to the kind of change I wanted to see.
I want my art to align with my values, which means stepping away from an industry that prioritises speed and profit over sustainability.
Falling in Love with Painting
While grappling with these questions, something unexpected happened: I fell in love with painting.
It started as a way to unwind - a chance to play with colour and texture without any deadlines or client briefs hanging over my head.
The more I painted, the more I realised how much joy it brought me.
There’s something healing and therapeutic about holding a brush, mixing colours, and watching shapes come to life on paper or canvas.
Painting became a mindful practice, that calmed my nerves and slowed down my racing mind.
It was the one thing that actually helped ease my anxiety.
What’s Next?
At its core, I am not giving up on art.
I will still paint and draw, but for me this time.
I am giving myself space to explore and heal. I will no longer accept client work while I figure out my next chapter.
I am finally ready to let go of the stress and pressures of freelancing in the world of fashion print design.
I will continue to see my therapist in hopes that I can find work-life balance again.
And ideally, finally reduce the number of panic attacks I’ve been having recently.
My energies will now be funnelled into my day job, which is providing me with much financial relief and stability, while still being creative. I am so thankful to be able to work remotely too.
This transition is equal parts exciting and terrifying. Letting go of a career I’ve built over the years feels like jumping into the unknown.
But in my heart, I know this is the right move - not just for me, but for the environmental and social impact I want on the world.
I want to take this opportunity to extend my heartfelt thanks to all my past clients. Your trust, creativity, and collaboration have been invaluable, and I am sincerely grateful for each and every project we have worked on together.
Please rest assured that I will complete all remaining projects with the same dedication and care that you have come to expect from me. I also appreciate your patience and understanding.
As I embark on this new chapter, I am excited about the possibilities and look forward to staying connected with you all. Your support and understanding mean a lot to me, and I am eager to share updates on my journey and new endeavors.
Thank you once again for being a part of my professional life. Here’s to slowing down, making sustainable choices, and falling in love with the creative process all over again.
The Pattern Library will remain online so that existing clients can browse exclusive prints, which are still available for purchase and/or licensing.
Questions? Concerns? Of course, you can email me: hello@carolynquan.design
With my deepest thanks and gratitude,
Carolyn 🩷